Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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