I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize