She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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