please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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