I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wish my penis had a tongue
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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