I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
