alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She bit a glass in half.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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