what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
