i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He felt like a one man threesome
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
