Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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