Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
