You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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