Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
