going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
