yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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