Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
