he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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