she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
