Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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