that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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