meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
