Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
