one two three fourrrrnication!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
