i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
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Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.