Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
