I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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