hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
