I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
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