Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
