Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize