we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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