Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize