I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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