I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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