if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
