anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
