I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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