I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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