is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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