ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
