let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
