Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish you could order shots online.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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