I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
