I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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