If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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