We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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