Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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