So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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