Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize