I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
did i just pee glitter
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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