if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
