So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
