We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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