So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
