I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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