my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
