Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
