Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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