I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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