I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
