I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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