Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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